A baby is a little bundle of joy, to be doted upon and adored by all. However, the process between the sexy times that instigated the pregnancy and when you finally get to meet your baby is a long and uphill battle. You have to have a lot of determination, shamelessness, and pain tolerance to push that little monster out of you.
Still unphased? Wait until you read some of these…
1. Morning Sickness Never Ends
Morning sickness is not a one and done deal like movies and The Sims make it out to be. You’re going to be sick a lot of the time, and it’s going to be miserable. The mere thought of food may be enough to make you want to hurl. Even food you actually want to eat might make you feel a little weak in the knees, and not in the “omg this food looks so amazing I need it inside me this instant” kind of way.
Speaking of food…
2. You Might Have a Craving for Shit
Pregnant women crave some pretty oddball stuff, but the condition topping the charts for awfulness is called pica. Pica is characterized by a strong desire to eat items that are not food and have no nutritional value, or worse, could harm you and your baby. The most common pica cravings involve things like dirt and chalk, but in extreme cases women have cravings for stones, cigarette butts, and feces.
3. Your Body Might Reject Your Baby’s Blood Type
You don’t always pass down the same blood type to your baby. In fact, if your blood type is negative but your partner’s is positive, your baby will likely have a positive blood type. Just like your body would reject organs from an incompatible blood type, it will start to reject your baby. Women with this problem have to get regular shots to defeat this incompatibility. Hope you’re not afraid of needles.
4. There’s a Good Chance You’ll Poop While Giving Birth
Push! Push! The moments leading up to childbirth are a lot of work. With all that effort concentrated in your nether regions, it’s no surprise that a little something extra might come out, too. In fact, this is a problem for a large percentage of women – over half. For this reason, many women stick to a liquid diet soon before birth, consuming nothing but gatorade, soups, and vitamin water.
Even if you manage to survive childbirth without having an accident, there’s a chance your baby will. When a baby poops while being born, not only does their nasty tar-like first stool get all over you, but there is a chance the baby can inhale it by mistake, leading to a condition called meconium aspiration syndrome. Babies suffering from this are more likely to not make it into adulthood and can have a wide variety of lung problems.
5. The Baby Will Probably Tear You on the Way Out
I won’t go into too much detail here, but let’s just say… what normally are two holes can merge into one during a particularly troublesome delivery. It requires stitches. Ow.
